Nothing but buckets of fried chicken under the Christmas tree. WTF, Santa??
I suspect the Colonel may have compiled more than one Christmas album. This one’s got Chet Atkins. Some smooth guitar playing here.
Here’s another one by Chet Atkins. Just because I think it sounds nice:
Dear Diary: Today I killed a man in the woods. Beat him to death with my acoustic guitar. Love, Glen.
Couldn’t find Glen Campbell’s version, so here’s the one by Ronnie Milsap:
Mom said to never make fun of retarded people, so I won’t.
But Satan gave me tomorrow!
Why is this guy in his little sister’s room writing on her stationery? Dude, go be “nearly famous” somewhere else.
The title song rocks out in a David Cassidy kinda way. Thank you, Youtube:
And if I catch you disagreeing with me, I will personally come to your house and kick the living shit outta you.
When I’m not singing songs about Jesus, I beat my wife and keep the boys chained in the basement.
Because we can’t possibly go any lower than this.
Sounds like the punchline to a crude joke: “Porter? He barely Wagoner.”
Unfortunately, he sounds as horrible as he looks:
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